Jun 25, 2012

musings on motherhood

There are so many things about motherhood that people can't/won't/don't tell you about motherhood.  Take breastfeeding for example.  When I had the little Guy I was very determined to breastfeed him, or at least to give it a darn good try.  Fortunately thanks to excellent mid wives and a lactaction consultant we worked it out after a few days.  He was a lovely baby who slept through the night from about 12 weeks and fed every 3 hours like clockwork during the day.  I had mastitis twice with him, at about 6 months and mostly due to the fact that I was stressed and then didn't finish my first lot of antibiotics completely.  


Amelie was a different story in the early days, she attached like a dream from the moment she came out of the womb and I was a lot more savvy second time round.  Though luck wasn't on my side as I got mastitis 3 times (yes THREE times) in her first 10 weeks of life.  I was so sick and miserable and she was feeding every 2 hours like a woman posessed.  Fortunately she has slowed down in her feeding, and now massively exceeds the 100th percentile for her weight.  She is a bit slow on the uptake of the solids whereas Guy ate like a champ from 4 months on.  Amelie has slept through the night about 5 times and still at 6 months of age gets me up at least once a night for a feed.


I'm considering at the moment switching for Amelie's bedtime feed from breast to bottle with formula.  In the hope that a slightly fuller tummy will make her sleep a little longer.  Also with the hope that husband Guy and I could then perhaps go out for a couple of hours of an evening, even if she then gets up in the night.  Isn't that the kicker though, you strive so hard to get breastfeeding established, put up with cracked and bleeding nipples, mastitis, being woken up multiple times per night, and then when you want to scale it back or give it up, it's so hard! I have such mixed feelings about scaling back breastfeeding, I'm terrified about getting mastitis again and it's such an emotional thing.


Anyway I have taken some baby steps.  I've bought a new bottle and some formula and she seems to like the concept of a bottle when I tested her out with a little bit of water in it.  Am I alone in this mental struggle and love/hate relationship with breastfeeding?  Or is this common?

6 comments:

Chookyblue...... said...

it's always different........both my kids were different........I got mastitis twice with the first and 3 times with the second........one was really bad with my second and you just go down hill so fast it is amazing.......but persist if thats what you want.......and don't stress about the mastitis as that worry won't help anything......give her a bit of boob and then the bottle.......or one side then the bottle and the other side when she wakes.......you will know what feels right for your body........I fed my second for longer then the first and she wasn't the best sleeper either....as in through the night........I got her there about 7mths and then she got a cold about 8 months and it took me another 3 months to get her back to not waking.........
sometimes it seems like it goes for ever at that ages but trust me the days are flying by at the moment and they will be gone in no time..........:(

Goodluck......

Chookyblue...... said...

oh and I never did a bottle but that's just what worked for me..........

Christine said...

I don't know how to advise you, but I don't think she wakes because she is hungry, I think it is more that she is used to getting a feed in the night.

Maybe give her the last feed a little later or give her a dream feed ( I think that is what it is called) before you go to bed.

Christine said...

Forgot to say, our little Tahlia she is 4 weeks older gets a home cooked. Eal at 5 pm and a milk feed at 6.30 and she only feeds of the one side and has done for a few month now.

Jilly said...

Breastfeeding is hard work. I have exclusively breastfed with all my kids so far, but Emma started having milk during the day at about a year, because I went back to work on and off. They all woke during the night partially for hunger and partially for comfort. My oldest son woke up a lot, and I finally night weaned him at about 18 months,and he slept throught he night. He still eats constantly at 7 1/2. My second son still woke up once at night once he was night weaned because he was thirsty. My daughter I had to give a soother so she would sleep through - she needed to suck at night. Owen sleeps about 6 hs at night already, so I'm just crossing my fingers that that keeps up.

I think breastfeeding is draining and takes a lot of physical and emotional energy. One thing I'm learning with my last two kids is that you have to do what keeps you sane and calm, so you can be a good mother in other areas, even if its not ideal.

travellingwithana said...

Completely agree. I hate how much I leak, constantly wet tops, spraying everywhere when they come off for a moment, having to select the right clothing when I go out for easy access, the unpredictability of when they are going to want to eat (usually at the most inconvenient of times and places), big boobs, tops not fitting, being naked half the night and up half the night!

But I love the close time with my kids, the knowledge that I'm giving them something that is so good for them, the satisfaction of seeing them grow on something that I made and not having to carry around bottles and formula and muck around with all of that stuff in the middle of the night or when we're out. Overall I feel lucky that it's been part of the life of both of my kids.

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